discovering

There is nothing more important than being able to see the good qualities of your partner that we personally lack. Then you can build a relationship where each person supports the other. Try to amass a collection of the ways in which you can cope together with your difficulties at the same time that you accumulate that precious collection of warm memories, moments of happiness and love. Let the grievances and disappointments go — you don’t need a collection of them.

The secret of successful and happy partnerships is communication, agreeable interaction (without blaming each other for things; without manipulation or accusations) as well as a mutual desire to compromise and a readiness to speak about pain and conflict. It is found in the ability not to stay quiet about problems and merely cope with negative feelings (yours and theirs), and instead in the ability to ask for, accept, and give support, rejecting things that don’t work for you whilst respecting each other’s rights.